The Obama campaign is encouraged by the recent Supreme Court decision barring the investigation of questionable voter registrations in Ohio. A new organisation has joined in their effort to enroll previously voiceless constituencies.
FAVOR, which stands for Fictitious American Voters Opposed to Republicans has now stepped up its campaign on multiple fronts. A few examples of their campaign are listed here.
1) FAVOR has started a get out the vote drive in the “dead community” . Obama volunteers have been seen knocking on tombstones in cemetaries around the country. Their campaign song is “Knockin on Heaven’s Door.”
2) The animal rights campaign has stepped up their campaign at animal shelters across the nation, filing suits so that pawprints can be recognised as marks on ballots. Militant fish activists have condemned this disenfranchisement of gilled creatures. Their campaign song is “Tou ain’t Nuthin But a Hound Dog.” (But You Can Still Vote.)
3) LAMP or Legal Action For Multiple Personalities has demanded voting rights for each multiple personality forced to share a single body. Even those with anger management problems have been registered twice.
“If you’re beside yourself, that means you must be two people. As such you should be able to vote twice.” a LAMP spokesperson explained.
Efforts to register one celled organisms have been stymied by the fact that their life span is well below the minimum voting age. That has not however stopped efforts to lower the voting age.
“Pediatric Americans, or “children” as they are so disparagingly called include millions of Obama supporters who are currently disenfranchised.” read a recent letter signed by a T. Antrum of an organisation called PACT or “Pediatric American Committee for Tots. Efforts to reach Mr. Antrum were unsuccessful due to a “time out ” session declared by his mommy.
“The whole world supports Obama. It’s mid autumn, and half the leaves have fallen from the trees.” noted Ariel Stoner, an Obama activist. So many of those leaves were raked up and discarded when they could have been registered to vote. What a waste.”
There is no telling how many new constituencies might be empowered by the Obama campaign. Pet rocks, for instance that were sold back in the eighties are now in their early thirties have never voted. Ariel Stoner considers this a tragedy.
“The only time people notice rocks is when they are tossed through plate glass windows. We are giving them a peaceful alternative. We are empowering rocks as never before.”
Fortunately , adoption certificates from the seventies for pet rocks have served as proof of age and residency for “rocky” voters. Efforts to involve the Rolling Stones in this effort have not yet borne fruit.
This of course brings us to the subject of registering fruits and vegetables to vote.
“They say that the apple never falls far from the tree.” chuckled Mr. Stoner at the end of our interview. “That may be true. But they can still vote.”
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Obama's Carteresque Tendencies
Barack Hussein Obama’s pro Israel credentials should receive more scrutiny from Jewish voters. One of his senior advisers on religious affairs is a proponent of “liberation theology”. His name is Shaun Casey, and he has signed a letter circulated by Ron Sider, a proponent of a movement to divorce evangelical Christianity from its support for Israel and from political conservatism in general. This is a clear warning sign that Obama is really a Jimmy Carter retread
Liberation theology seeks of course to harmonise Marxism and other strains of leftism with Christianity. Reverend Wright is one of the louder manifestations of this ideological strain.
According to the Sultan Knish blog , “Several dozen evangelical leaders have released a letter to President Bush in an effort to distinguish themselves from ardent pro-Israel evangelicals and to urge evenhandedness between Israel and the Palestinians.
The letter’s authors got the idea while visiting the U.S.-Islamic World Forum in Doha, Qatar, where, according to the New York Times, they “met Muslim and American diplomats who were shocked to discover the existence of American evangelicals who favored a Palestinian state.” The organizers plan to translate their letter into Arabic and distribute it internationally.
The letter repeated a common media-grabbing formula for liberal evangelicals. Demand action on climate change, denounce U.S. policies on “torture,” or insist on a less pro-Israel stance. The ostensibly surprising revelation that not all evangelicals are reflexively Republican is an almost guaranteed headline maker.
The signers insist that they share the evangelical perspective that God will bless all who bless the descendants of Abraham, a common biblical theme among pro-Israel evangelicals. But they assert that both Israel and the Palestinians have ”legitimate rights stretching back for millennia to the lands of Israel/Palestine,” and that a Palestinian state must include the “the vast majority of the West Bank.”
Ron Sider insisted that he and his fellow letter signers want “security” for Israel. But it’s difficult to know what he, as a professed pacifist, means by security. Many of the signers are skeptical about the U.S. war against terrorism and place greater hope in international mediation than do typical evangelicals. The letters signers assume that Middle East peace depends on pressuring Israel into more accommodations. Most evangelicals are more skeptical.”
The movement to separate evangelicals from Israel is a cause that Jimmy Carter has championed in the past. The closeness of this movement to the Obama campaign certainly seems to presage a foreign policy in the Middle East that will resemble that of Jimmy Carter. John McCain’s statement that Obama is “Measuring the drapes” in the Oval Office as well as his flaunting of questionable friends such as Shaun Casey bespeaks a cockiness that will strike many as premature in the heated finale to the Presidential campaign that still lies ahead of us.
Those who want to take Obama at his word and vote Democrat have ample reason to hesitate when looking at Obama’s inner circle
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