Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A Confession to Readers From an Anonymous Victim

Yet another country has reported a rash of "spiked drink incidents. Reuters News reports of a series of incidents in central Tokyo in which patrons of "hostess bars" in Tokyo found themselves saddled with huge credit card bills or relieved of their credit cards. Reuters reports as follows.

"The U.S. Embassy in Japan has advised Americans to avoid bars and clubs in central Tokyo's Roppongi nightlife area, saying on its website that there had been a sharp rise in cases of Americans being served spiked drinks.

"Typically, the victim unknowingly drinks a beverage that has been secretly mixed with a drug that renders the victim unconscious for several hours, during which time large sums of money are charged to the victim's credit card or the card is stolen outright," the Embassy said."

In other countries, the motive was sexual, with dazed women reporting sexual abuse of which they had no recall. Some reports, which have been classified as "urban legends' involve dazed victims waking up without kidneys.

A friend of mine who wishes to remain anonymous reported an incident that leaves him plagued with feelings of shame and guilt. His trip was not to a "hostess bar" but to a coffee house. He confided in me as follows.

"I was newly divorced. I was lonely. And I did something that goes against everything I believe in. All for love. But it was really lust. She was beautiful, in that sixties sort of way. She had a faded blue work shirt and love beads. She was wearing rose coloured granny glasses and reading "The Prophet" by Kahil Gibran. I found a silly excuse to talk with her. When I caught a whiff of her patchouli oil, I was putty in her hands.

"I just drank two bottles of Czech Pilsner. Everything she said brought back the sixties. Even though she wasn't even born then, its like she was there when it all started. Barry McGuire's song "Eve of Destruction" came on just as I was getting to the espresso. I tell you, there's nothing like an espresso rush on top of a beer buzz."

At this point my friend was trying hard not to cry.

" I should have known better. Beer always has me going to the can. I never should have left her alone with my drinks."

"What happened?" I asked, both afraid and anxious to find out what happened.

"I should have known better. It was early November when I'm normally depressed, but I was feeling happy instead. I wasn't in love, but I felt this hope that hadn't felt in ages. I felt for the first time since my divorce that things were going to change for me."

"But there is always a morning after. We talked until four in the morning. The last thing I remember was walking out with her. It almost hurts to say this, but the next morning, I woke up...."

His voice trailed off. He stared into the distance despondently.

" Never!! Never!! " He cursed himself. " I'll never leave my drink unattended as long as I live! She robbed me of something I can never have back ever!'

"What did she take from you?" I asked anxiously.

" I can't tell you" my friend answered gravely. "But when I woke up, I wasn't wearing the clothes I was wearing at the coffee house. I was wearing ...." At this point his lip started to quiver.

"I was wearing an Obama for President tee shirt... and there was a note on my kitchen table."

What did it say ? I asked.

"Thanks for going to the polls with me! WE WON!!!!

Love and Peace



The back of the hill said...

Absolutely priceless.

And yes, we did indeed win.

Hee hee hee.

Mk said...

So THAT is how Obama robbed America. Just when I had lost hope in common sense.