Thursday, June 25, 2009

Sex Scandals Here, There, Everywhere

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford has aroused the ire of an unexpected constituency. Phillip (Phil) Landers, head of the Protectionist Institute for Moral Propriety, (P.I.M.P.) lashed out at the besieged Governor of South Carolina not for disloyalty to his wife but for "outsourcing" the position of mistress.

"It is outrageous that such an important position as gubernatorial mistress has been given to someone who is not even a legal resident ofthe U.S. fumed Mr. Landers. There are so many American women who would be qualified for this position. It is no wonder our economy is in a tailspin. The people of South Carolina have lost thousands of jobs to overseas competition. Governor Sanford should be promoting the workers and people of South Carolina. Instead, he has outsourced yet another position in South Carolina's economy. Meals, hotel reservations and entertainment that could have benefitted the people of South Carolina were instead purchased in Argentina. This is deplorable.


In the interest of bipartisanship, who can forget the story of Jimmy Carter and Dina Pagano. The Globe reported back in 2002 about an oddly warm friendship between Pagano and former President Jimmy Carter that preceded and continued into her now finished marriage. Did they have an affair? The aggrieved ex husband felt threatened by what was apparently a friendship that was far too warm for his comfort level. Photos of Carter and Pagano on a cozy cruise along with other questionable behavior led Pagano's husband to file for divorce. The Globe reported as follows.

"Jimmy Carter Snuggles with Sexy Gal Pal in 'Monkey Business' Photos

Moralizing ex-President Jimmy Carter may be sorry he stepped back into the spotlight this week with his trip to Cuba, especially after he sees the cover of the latest Globe Magazine featuring a photo of himself in a compromising position with a scantily clad former lady friend.

The Globe cover shot shows a comely 24-year-old Dina Pagano perched on the lap of the man the media calls America's best ex-president - the straps of her bikini top falling off her naked shoulders as the couple snuggles cheek-to-cheek, arm-in-arm.

President Carter, who once admitted to lusting after women in his heart, apparently did some lusting up close and personally with the hazel-eyed beauty way back in the mid-1980s, when the incriminating photos were snapped.

"Dina told me before we were married that she'd had an affair with Jimmy Carter," ex-husband John Vanelli told the Globe. "He even kept calling her after she married me and he met with her, too."

Taken aboard a luxury yacht in 1984, the Globe says, "The telltale snap bears a striking resemblance to the infamous 'Monkey Business' photo that wrecked Gary Hart's presidential hopes in 1987."

The tabloid reprints a second pic of Jimmy and Dina nuzzling on the aft deck of the private luxury cruiser.

For her part, Dina denies any inappropriate "monkey business" with the former submarine commander. "Jimmy is a friend, nothing more," she told the Globe.

Asked why she snuggled on Carter's lap as a photog snapped away, Pagano said it was "an innocent pose for a picture, that's all."


Years ago, Barry Farber told a story about the President of Indonesia. I do not remember if it was Sukarno or Suharto. According to legend, the KGB supplied him with some attentive females for memorable evening entertainment. Hidden cameras were used to take compromising photos of the sitting President when he was in fact lying down. Not long afterward, the KGB sent him an envelope with the pictures, accompanied by a note expressing a desire for a cooperative working relationship in the future. For most Brits and Americans, that would have been an iron clad case of blackmail.

The President of Indonesia allegedly sent a note back to the KGB saying as follows.

"Thank you very much for the nice photos of my memorable evening. Please send me more sets of these delightful photos so I can autograph them and send them to my friends."


I would not say that the French require that their politicians have mistresses. But they do take their traditions very seriously. The Independent, A British newspaper reports as follows about mistresses from Louiws XIV to Francois Mitterand.

"NONE of the French will have seen anything ironic in the screening on prime time television, just weeks before Francois Mitterrand's death, of a two-part series on Madame de Maintenon, mistress of Louis XIV.

Not because France's longest-serving post-war president and the most famous courtesan had anything direct in common, but because the most memorable image - at least in Britain - of last Thursday's funeral was the discreet shot of Mitterrand's mistress Anne Pingeot and their 20- year-old daughter, Mazarine, standing side by side in silent farewell.

If nothing else, the sight of Danielle Mitterrand, who will one day be buried next to her husband in the little cemetery at Jarnac, bidding adieu at the service of remembrance along with Mme Pingeot, proves what we suspected all along: they do things differently in France.

Imagine a mistress of John Major's being allowed to grieve with dignity in a black hat in Westminster Abbey, accompanied by their only illegitimate child, or Camilla Parker-Bowles in mourning with a little Charles born the wrong side of the blanket. Unlikely? Unthinkable.

It was the Anglo-French Sir James Goldsmith, a renowned believer in the formality of keeping a long-term lover in your life, who said that by marrying your mistress you create a job vacancy. For wealthy and powerful Frenchmen, keeping a mistress is more than a tradition. It is an obligation."

All of this talk of Gallic frolics reminds me of a joke.

"In America they say, "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your children are?

In France they say, "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your wife is?

In Poland they say, "It's ten o'clock. do you know what time it is?"


What about Silvio Berlusconi, the Prime Minister of Italy ?

For years, Italians had an attitude towards mistresses that was very similar to that of the French. Oddly enough, some Italians are calling for his resignation. Most of the cries of indignation revolve around suspicions of drug abuse at some of his lively parties as well as money changing hands.

Silvio Berlusconi is 72 Years old. He owes the Italian people an explanation. What keeps him going? Maybe when his term ends, he could write an article for a men's health magazine.


What I find nauseating is when a politician is caught up in a sex scandal and calls a press conference with his wife by his side Jim McGreevey had a press conference where they should have passed out barf bags. Not only was his wife up there on stage with him but his parents as well. His father looked like he would rather have been running across the DMZ going into North Korea. He looked miserable. McGreevey reminds me of that famous song line, "If it makes you happy, then why the hell do you look so sad?"

**************************************************************************** recounts a famous story about President Calvin Coolidge that almost sounds as though it could have been told in Paris.

President Calvin Coolidge and his wife visited a government farm one day and were taken around on separate tours. Mrs. Coolidge, passing the chicken pens, inquired of a supervisor whether the roosters copulated more than once a day.

"Yes," the man said. "Dozens of times." "Tell that," Mrs. Coolidge replied, "to the president!"

Some time later the president, passing the same pens, was told about the roosters - and about his wife's remark. "Same hen every time?" he asked. "Oh, no, a different one each time," the supervisor replied. "Tell that," Coolidge said with a sly nod, "to Mrs. Coolidge."


President Tito, dictator of the former Yugoslavia had a string of mistresses that would make Bill Clinton look in comparison like an altar boy. The site gives the following explanation of its relatively brief listing of sixteen women.

"Only women with whom Tito allegedly had children or was married to are listed. All the facts are taken from "The Loves of Josip Broz", a book researched with Tito's consent and written by Filip Radulovic. All other women with whom Tito also had relationships of some kind are (in his own words to Radulovic) "too numerous to find out".


There is an amoral argument for monogamy. Societies in which there is polygamy often have a celibate underclass that is easily incited to violence. The polygamous offshoot of the Mormon Church used to excommunicate teenage boys for" crimes" such as holdinghands with a girl or listening to rock music. Coincidentally, this enlarged the pool of young girls available to older men.

When people have overlapping claims for the affections of one person, it can lead to bloodshed. Time is not only taken from an aggrieved spouse but from children who are competing with lovers for their parent's time. Additionally, there is a spark of recognition a father can have when dealing with genetically transmitted emotional and behavioral characteristics. Biblical wisdom is vindicated by psychological and sociological evidence that monogamy is democratic, better for children and ultimately more compassionate.

People who have the safety valve of an affair will be less likely to work out differences in their primary relationship. People who are religious should turn to the teachings of their faith for guidance in matters of family life, but in general venues, monogamy should be defended on a rational basis. When people abuse their bodies with drugs and tobacco, society pays. When they abuse their marriages, society pays the price in unhappy children and in mental illness. There is a case to be made for monogamy that would put an Orthodox Jew, a born again Christian and an atheist on the same page. This is how issues of this nature should be discussed outside of a house of worship with those who do not share one's faith.

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