Friday, August 14, 2009

Dumb@$$ Criminal of the Week

A would be armed robber in Wisconsin picked the wrong bar to rob. Alonzo Rucker walked into a bar with a bandana on his face and his hands in his pants, simulating a weapon. According to AOL News, he ended up not only on candid camera but encircled by off duty policemen. It seems that the bar he picked was full of off duty cops. Even as the crisis unfolded, one of the gumshoes at the bar shouted incredulously "You've got to be kidding me"

Rucker claimed that he did not intend to rob the bar, that he simply did not want to be recognised. His hands were jammed in his pants, it seems because he was trying out for the Wisconsin pocket pool championship.

It is always a pleasure when a criminal saves police the trouble of looking for him by delivering him or herself into their custody. There was recently a story of a drunk driver who was so tanked that he drove up to a police station and asked for a room, thinking it was a hotel. He ended up with a free room and a breathalyser test.

I know someone who actually got busted because he dropped his driver's license at the scene of a burglary.

On a far more serious note, my favourite dumb criminal story actually involved a serial killer in Brooklyn who was a suspect in the murder of a woman whose body was found in a vacant lot. Although he was a suspect, the police did not have sufficient evidence to arrest him. They asked for him to voluntarily submit a DNA sample . He refused. The cops had no choice but to let him go. One detective was sharp enough to watch him as he walked out of the precinct. The suspect spit on the sidewalk. The detective scooped up the spit, which had enough blood in it to yield a usable amount of DNA. The DNA matched that found on the scene. The suspect was arrested. Thank G-d for dumb criminals and for smart cops.

No comments: