Thursday, March 25, 2010

Kim Jong Il Very Ill

President Kim Jong Il, the iron fisted dictator of North Korea is reportedly suffering from kidney failure which requires dialysis as well as paralysis after a 2008 stroke according to the Times of London. South Korean intelligence experts have been examining photographs of the "Dear Leader" and have concluded from the colour of his fingernails that he is suffering from kidney failure. It was already known that Mr. Kim was suffering from diabetes.

In the same country that has lost about 2 million people to famine, comrade Kim has found it necessary to go on a diet in order to bring his weight down from 189 pounds to 154 pounds. It is not known if the money the diabetic Mr. Kim saves on not buying expensive liquor is being spent instead to feed starving North Koreans.

People are already talking about a successor to Kim Jong Il. His son, Kim Jong Un has been named as a possible replacement. It this were to happen, it would make the Kim family the world's first communist dynasty. Kim Jong Il, son of the famous "Great Leader" Kim Il Sung replaced his father when his father assumed room temperature in 1994.

Kim Jong Il had a reputation for drinking expensive liquor and maintaining a stable of willing women, leading some to wonder if dynasty might better be spelled "die nasty".

Recent appearances of the "Dear Leader" lead may to speculate that his infirmity has imposed a level of virtue on him that eluded him when he was in better health.

In British English, the term "dear" means "expensive" Looking at the expensive tastes of comrade Kim as well as the medical care that is now prolonging his useless existence, the term "Dear Leader" seems entirely appropriate.

It would be a pity for such a ruthless and inept individual as Kim Jong Il to simply die in his sleep. A prolonged illness would at least give him a chance to reflect on the suffering he has inflicted on his nation and people . Although his replacement with a better approximation of a human being is a pleasing prospect, a violent power struggle in North Korea could end up inflicting even more suffering on that blighted country.

It seems grotesque to read of such a poor country as North Korea prolonging the life of its obscenely and illicitly rich leader. I wish North Korea a speedy recovery from its many afflictions, including its leadership. It is the sick, tormented and starving people of North Korea who merit our concern and not their demented leader.

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